Comments on: Please Don’t Praise Me

By: Encouraging Children's Creativity | Happiness is here

Encouraging Children's Creativity | Happiness is here — Mon, 02 Aug 2021 21:50:55 +0000

[…] that praise was synonymous with encouragement, but now many of us know that’s not the case. Praise can often be detrimental. It can come across as judgement. We don’t want our children coming […]

By: Marcie

Marcie — Mon, 25 May 2020 18:16:16 +0000

In reply to Alana. Janet Lansbury also writes about this topic (you can probably search *praise* on her site), and she suggests narrating what the child is doing, For example, Oh you’re building a tall tower, or You went down the slide on your tummy!

By: Mary

Mary — Fri, 20 Sep 2019 02:29:46 +0000

When I first heard the concept that praising is destructive rather than encouraging, I asked my 10 year old daughter about it. I was forthright with her, and told her I had just heard in a conference talk that praising is not helpful to a child. What did she think about praise? She thought for a moment, and she agreed that praise did not make her feel better about what she was doing, did not make her feel better about herself, and yes, she would appreciate it if I didn’t praise her any more. Like the article states, she did want my attention, she did want to be noticed, but not praised. She is now 23 years old and one of my best friends!

By: Cathy

Cathy — Thu, 19 Sep 2019 19:48:35 +0000

In reply to Janusz.

You can comment in a descriptive way, or ask questions. Rather than saying “What a great picture!” you could say “That tree looks really realistic. The shadows underneath add such depth” or “I see you’ve used a lot of blue in this picture. Why did you choose to do that, was it to create a particular mood?” or similar.

Your compliment is that you are noticing, like this article states. Really paying attention. Which is way more appreciated than a bland bit of praise!

By: 10 Things to Say Instead of 'Good Job' | Happiness is here

10 Things to Say Instead of 'Good Job' | Happiness is here — Sun, 07 Jul 2019 05:24:43 +0000

[…] Nothing! And that’s not what this is about. The thing is, ‘good job’ isn’t encouragement. It’s judgement. […]

By: Lydia

Lydia — Wed, 23 Jan 2019 10:43:28 +0000

I have a friend who’s parents never praised her. Now she has her own children she’s always praising them. I see their eyes glaze over and they almost raise their eyes to heaven as if to say ‘alright mum you can stop now’. Their dad praises them occasionally and their little faces light up when that happens.
I think some praise is important but too much and it just looses its meaning.