Mothers of children of the same gender will understand me. The comments start when you’re pregnant…
‘Oh, are you trying for a boy this time?’
‘I hope it’s a little boy for you!’
‘Does Dad want a boy?’
And then when the baby is born, complete strangers continue to comment (with sympathetic voices!) on your apparent unhappiness with having another child of the same gender…
‘Aww, you didn’t get your boy?’
‘Are you going to try again for a boy then?’
‘Oh well, maybe next time’
All said in front of my three precious girls who never considered this to be an issue. All they have heard from me is how lucky I am to have them!
Now, to be clear, I understand that some people do experience gender disappointment and I don’t want to offend those people at all. Your feelings and experiences are completely valid. I am not talking about that, but rather people (usually complete strangers) assuming that I can’t possibly be content without having a child of each gender. That the reason I might have another child in the future is because I want one of the opposite gender. That having my second and third daughters was somehow less amazing than the first.
For me, this is not true at all, and I really would hate my children to ever get that impression from something someone else said.
To my third precious girl,
From the moment you were born and I lifted you up onto my chest, I loved you. When I discovered that I had another little girl, I was overwhelmed with happiness. When I looked into your navy blue newborn eyes, not a flicker of disappointment entered my mind. Meeting you was just as magical as it was meeting your sisters before you. I was mesmerized by you from the very beginning, and your gender had nothing to do with it. You are each your own unique person and that is what I love about you. Every new thing you learn, the first time you smiled, laughed, sat up, clapped your hands, learned to crawl, was just as amazing for us to see the third time around as it was the first. We are all totally captivated by you. Third time around some things are different. We are less stressed, we know what we’re doing, we’re more relaxed and confident. But some things will never change, whether it’s my first baby or my third or fourth. The wonder in watching you grow and learn about the world is just as great. The excitement of getting to know a new little person is just as strong, every single time. Every time.
Never doubt how special you are, baby girl. How unique and wonderful you are, and how much happiness you bring to us. Oh, we are so so grateful to have you.