Unschooling

Unschooling Tips: The 5 Ingredients Behind Our Most Magical Days

If you could peek into my house and see what unschooling looks like for us, this week you might have seen: craft projects, journaling, audiobooks, quiet reading, morning routines, cooking, mosaic, filming and editing short films, completing some online learning for a barista course, checking on a mummified chicken leg, sewing, imaginary play, chatting with friends, and more.

That sounds like a lot! So how do I ‘get my kids’ to do all that? People ask me all the time, looking for the magic formula or a list of unschooling tips that make it happen.

The truth is, there’s no trick, and I’m not “getting” them to do anything.

I don’t force them to learn things.
I don’t determine the schedule for them.
I don’t have expectations they have to meet.
We don’t follow a curriculum.
I do not make them learn.

When you’ve grown up in a schooled culture, hearing this can sound like I do nothing and by some magic all this stuff occurs. This can then lead to disappointment or feeling inadequate when the same thing doesn’t happen in your house, right? You start to think maybe you just aren’t cut out for it, maybe your children just aren’t suited to unschooling.

I get it. We all grew up being taught that children needed to be forced to learn, and we never saw a different way. So now we think the opposite of force is doing nothing. We don’t have an example of what another way might look like yet.

Let’s talk about that.

Here’s the truth: There are more than these two extremes. Rejecting school, control, force, and coercion doesn’t mean we do nothing. There is a space in the middle, and that is where you find the magic.

So, what happens in this middle ground? Unschooling with intention! We set up our lives, homes, environments, and attitudes in a way that invites inspired, engaged, joyful learning.

How do we do that? Let’s get practical about this unschooling business. In fact, let’s talk about 5 more words that start with P, because that’s catchy and easier to remember.
Here are my 5 favourite unschooling tips; the things that keep learning alive in our home…

The 5 P’s of Inspired Unschooling: My Best Unschooling Tips

When I started to think about the elements that exist on the days when everyone is inspired and actively pursuing their interests, when our home is buzzing with ideas and activity, when the vibe is right and it feels like magic, I came up with these 5 things…

Planning

‘Woah, planning? That seems like the opposite of unschooling!’ I hear you say. Let’s tackle this misconception right from the start! Remember how we’re not simply trying to live our lives in the opposite way to school? That includes not living as if we are reacting to school; let’s forget about it all together. It’s not relevant to us. We ditched it, so we don’t need to let it affect what we do or don’t do.

Planning can be great! How are we going to make sure we have time for everything, keep track of everyone’s ideas, make space for every child’s needs, and be prepared for the things we want to do without some planning?

Planning doesn’t mean we’re locked into a strict schedule; it simply means we’re thinking ahead, being intentional, and setting ourselves up for success rather than forgotten plans and mismanaged timetables.

Planning allows us to keep track of interests and ideas, gather supplies ahead of time, and make sure that everyone’s needs are met. Planning helps our kids learn how to manage their time, be intentional about their days, and dream bigger than the next 24 hours.

In our family, we spend about an hour on Sunday afternoons planning the week together. Each child does it slightly differently. Some like very loose plans, some like to plan out every day of the week. Some want some input and ideas from me, some come up with everything on their own. This little hour makes a big difference. Instead of drifting into the week, the kids wake up knowing exactly what they want to dive into. They’ve already made the plan, and that little bit of intention creates so much momentum.

We plan days, weeks, months, interests, goals, projects, and more!

Unschooling Tips for Planning: Have a little planning meeting at the start of each week so you’ve got some ideas to jump into on Monday morning. Make it clear these are ideas, not an enforced schedule. If you change your mind on the day because you have another idea, no problem!

If you’d like some guidance and resources to help with planning, you can check out our Self-Directed Life Planner.

Presence

Your presence changes everything. Our kids need a partner.

We’re supposed to be actively involved supporters, not bystanders.

You’ve probably noticed the effect you have already. When you’re busy, stressed, rushed, and doing other things, your child likely chooses more passive entertainment to pass the time. When you’re simply around to chat, ask questions, comment, join in, and aren’t distracted, your child is more likely to be actively engaged in something.

Does this mean you have to be 100% present all the time? No! We live in the real world. Let’s be realistic. You don’t need to be a superhuman, you just need to be intentional. Schedule in some time where you are 100% present. Let your kids know when this is each day.

For example, in our house we have what we call ‘project time’ on the days we are home all day. This is really just ‘present time’. The kids can work on whatever they want, but they know at this time I’m all there. We’re in the same space, we’re chatting, I’m available to help with anything they need, etc. This means there’s regular time when I’m one hundred percent present and not distracted, so the kids know this is important, and if I am busy at other times they know that this regular time is coming up again soon.

Unschooling tips for Being Present: Schedule in a regular project time. Put your phone away, forget about all the things on your to-do list, and just be there for whatever your kids want to do. Ask them questions, read to them while they work, offer suggestions if they like that, and enjoy your time together! You can read more about project time here.

Possibility

Ever had the craving for a slice of chocolate cake but when you go to the cupboard you’re missing a vital ingredient? What a mood killer. It’s the same with learning/creating. The environment needs to be full of potential and possibilities.

You don’t need to go out and grab every resource available, but keep a stock of the basics ready! Enough so that they have what they need, or can improvise with what they’ve got.

Got an artist? Have a shelf of basic art supplies (paint, pens, watercolours, pastels, paper, cardboard, pencils)
Got a maker/tinkerer? Have a tub of building bits (LEGO, recycled boxes, string, tape, craft sticks, simple tools, batteries, wires, tape measures.)
Got a reader/writer? Make books easy to grab (fiction, non-fiction, comics, poetry, plus blank notebooks, fancy pens, and sticky notes for ideas.)
Got a scientist? Store magnifying glasses, kitchen scales, measuring cups, magnets, torches, thermometers, pipettes, and a stash of safe kitchen experiment ingredients (bicarb soda, vinegar, food colouring).
Got a nature lover? Keep baskets for collecting treasures, a field guide or two, binoculars, a bug jar, and a nature journal.
Got a performer? Have a dress-up box, musical instruments, a small speaker for music, and maybe a simple stage space or backdrop.

Unschooling tips for Creating Possibility: Have a look at what you’ve got available, and see if there’s anything you’re missing. It doesn’t need to be fancy or expensive, but adding a few new things can spark so many ideas!

If you’d love fresh, ready-to-go ideas to keep those possibilities flowing, you might like my weekly Inspiration Is Here subscription. Every week I share unique, curiosity-sparking activities you can use or adapt in your own way.

Purpose

The most boring part of school was the busywork, right? Worksheet after worksheet of meaningless things you had no idea the relevance of but you just had to get through. The only reason to do it was so you didn’t get in trouble.

Real, inspired learning needs purpose. Kids want to do real things. They want to do things that are meaningful to them, helpful, and connected to the world around them. When they see the “why,” they’re naturally more motivated, focused, and proud of what they’ve achieved.

Purpose might come from: solving a real problem, creating something for someone else to enjoy, learning a skill they know they’ll use, or contributing to a bigger project or cause they care about.

When your child can see that what they’re doing matters, learning is not an isolated task; instead, it’s just part of living.

Look for ways to make purpose part of the environment. Share what you’re working on so kids see purposeful action in daily life, and say yes when they want to join in with the real thing, not a “kid version.” If you’re suggesting something or coming up with ideas together, keep it relevant, meaningful, and tied to real life. Find ways to learn skills in a practical context rather than through made-up practice tasks.

Unschooling tips for Building Purpose: Keep a lookout for experiences in the real world! When you read about things in a book, think about where you can see, experience, and try that thing. Make learning real and tangible. Provide real tools where possible.

Play

Learning happens through play! I bet you’ve heard this in the early years, but did you know it’s true for older kids and teens too? Play is not limited to imaginary play, and it’s not something you grow out of. Sometimes even something that looks like work is play. It’s all about the attitude of the person.

A playful attitude is the precursor to real learning! When we are enjoying ourselves, feeling curious, flexible, interested, experimental, and playful, it is so much easier to learn.

Play is how we explore, test ideas, and take risks, without the pressure of “getting it right.” For older kids and teens, it might look like tinkering with a bike, experimenting with photography, trying a new recipe, or brainstorming a wild business idea. The label doesn’t matter. What matters is the sense of freedom, creativity, and joy they bring to it.

A playful attitude makes learning feel light, inviting, and worth diving into. It keeps curiosity alive and opens the door to discoveries you can’t plan for.

Make space in your life for play in all its forms, not just games or toys, but anything approached with curiosity and joy. Join in when you can, and model a playful attitude yourself. Don’t dismiss activities just because they look like “only” play. We were taught to believe learning feels like work, so it’s easy to miss the deep learning that’s happening when something looks super fun.

Unschooling tips for Play: Keep the focus on exploration and fun rather than outcomes. Suggest ideas, and plan outings based on enjoyment rather than a secret learning mission. If you start from curiosity and a spirit of play, learning happens naturally and you don’t need to worry about forcing it.

When you look at a busy, buzzing unschooling day from the outside, it might seem like it just happens on its own. Like magic. But the truth is, our life is intentionally designed to encourage these moments.

Planning, presence, possibility, purpose, and play are the secret ingredients to that magic. The middle ground between forced learning and doing nothing at all. These unschooling tips have worked for us for years, and you can use them to create your own version of unschooling magic.

The best part is these are things we can all do. If things are feeling uninspired and out of balance, think about what might be missing? What ingredient do you need to sprinkle a bit more of into the mix?

And one “P” you can skip entirely? Perfection. This isn’t about doing it all or getting it right every time, it’s about building a life that works for your family.