Childhood: Why the Rush?
Anyone with children will know that they do not rush. It doesn’t matter how many times you say you’re going to be late, we’re going to miss out, we have to leave now! They take their sweet sweet time. And wow, can’t that be frustrating! When you need them to just please hurry up!
And so, taking your time comes to be seen as a bad thing. For adults too. Our world seems to value being busy, rushing around, having one hundred things on the go at once. But what are we missing in the rush?
Yesterday, while watching my children play outside for hours at the creek, I pondered over all of this. They climbed rocks, waded in the water, made paths through the bush, did some art, collected bugs, explored the water with magnifying glasses, climbed trees, and played, and played, and played. And never did I see them rush. Never were they so concerned with doing everything at once, that they forgot to appreciate the present. They took their time. They enjoyed themselves. I tried to think back to a time when I had seen them rushing through something (without me making them), and I came up with nothing. Unless they were playing a game, running away from each other, playing hide and seek, then I can’t think of a time.
Wow. Think about that for a second. They never rush.
Does that amaze you as much as it does me? Can you remember the last time you really truly took your time? You enjoyed what you were doing without thinking of anything else? Without worrying about other things you had to be doing? Without one eye on the clock?
What a gift children are to us. They can teach us so much. If only we would listen.
“The soul is healed by being with children.” – Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Instead of recognizing this beautiful quality of slowing down, of enjoying life, of really seeing and appreciating things, we encourage them to rush through it. To think in adult ways. Ok, there are some places we do have to be on time. But, so often (for me anyway) saying ‘hurry up’ becomes a habit, and is more about my impatience than a necessity.
All too soon they will be grown up with a job and a house and a family of their own. There is no rush. There is time. What is the point of life if not to enjoy it?
So I’m trying not to rush my kids, whenever I can. I’m trying to banish ‘hurry up’ from my vocabulary. I want to preserve this childlike sense of wonder for as long as possible. It is a beautiful quality, and I want to show them that I value it. As they grow and mature, the weight of the world might squash some of it out of them. But if I’m careful, maybe I can help them preserve just a little bit.
So, my precious girls,
I won’t say ‘hurry up’, when you’ve stopped to smell the flowers.
I won’t rush you when you’re admiring the shape of the clouds.
I’ll let you lead me away to show me that interesting bug.
You’ll join in with what I’m doing, and we’ll go at your pace.
I’ll delight in the world, just like you do.
You’re learning, and I’m learning too.
This is important. This here is what life is really about. Thank you for showing me that.
Comments
Beautifully said. I am going to take my time tomorrow.
Thank you 🙂
Lovely!!
My children have been my gift of wonder!!!
I love how they see beauty and worth in what seems like everything (that’s why I find hundreds of fall leaves hidden from this “trash it” mama in the corner of my daughters closet!)
It has caused this rushed mama to slow down and actually enjoy the small gifts in life that I had forgotten about!!
It’s so beautiful how they appreciate the world.
All too often we rush our children not just through the day, but through childhood. We sometimes wish that they had more adult-like qualities (being responsible and clean, patience, honesty when in trouble, etc.). David Elkind discusses how this happens and what to do about it in his book The Hurried Child. I use this book with clients and suggest it to anyone I know dealing with these things.
Slowed me down, and I enjoy the time I have with my 7 kids so much more.
Sounds like a great book!
CHILDHOOD IS THE BEST THING TO DO AN ADVENTURE TO KNOW ABOUT NATURAL AND STIMULATING THEIR NATURAL TALENT. SO LET THEM GROWING WITH ITSELF
This is so great. I certainly could use a reminder to S L O W down! Thanks for sharing!! 🙂
xo
Thanks Emily 🙂
I’m sadly guilty of this myself. Slave to time is what we are. And the whole point of me stopping working to stay home was to take more time. But we become so over scheduled that relaxing and being in the moment become almost a fault, a waste of time… I wrote about my troubles with time this week, and this reaches me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
It’s hard sometimes isn’t it? x
wow!!! such a beautifully written post, thanks for sharing your thoughts! There generally is no urgent rush, is there I think I’m guiltly of rushing myself & this must also mean my children are rushed at times. I’m going to try to pay more attention to this over the next few days & see what happens!! 🙂
Thanks Emma! Definitely. I have to stop and ask myself why I am rushing.
This is beautifully said, thank you. I like it so much I’m going to include it in my summary of the best posts for the week!
I’m trying really hard to remember to take the time to really enjoy the “little things” with my girls so this is further inspiration. 🙂
Thank you Kristy 🙂
What a lovely reminder. I rush myself and my kids so much. Often it’s because I’m disorganised myself. But what about when we really do need to be somewhere … how best to manage that?
Well, sometimes you do have to don’t you? But I figure if you’re not rushing around all the time they might be more likely to listen at those times. Although, sometimes it’s my fault. I leave things to the last minute. I could start getting them ready earlier so that we still didn’t need to rush.
Such gorgeous photos!!! Thank you for a great reminder!
Thank you! It was a beautiful setting.
Yes yes yes!!! My son who is in Grade 1 is constantly saying ‘it’s not fair I don’t have time to play anymore’ It breaks my heart…kids should have all the time in the world to explore and play. My boy’s favourite activity is to stay at home and play in the backyard…love it
Aww…
Mine too, they play all day.
Yes! We try to slow down and enjoy the moments too, try to not rush. It really does sneak into our days if I don’t stay mindful about it though. The book Simplicity Parenting it great on this topic too 🙂
Thanks Kelly, I’ll check it out!
Lovely post. I thought about this as well some time ago and we dropped a lot of things from our schedules. You only get one shot at childhood and it really should be a relaxed, wonderous, beautiful shot 🙂
So agree xx
I really love your post! I enjoyed reading it. A great help for me since I’m considering homeschooling this school year.
Thank you 🙂
Totally agree…keeping that sense of wonder alive is so so vital!!
Reading your post made me reminisce about my little precious daugher’s childhood… I’m now so happy of enjoying the quality time of it. You made me blow the mere thought about my bad hair day. THANKS.
So true and so very important – thank you. It was my kids who showed me up for rushing too much, and we’ve (I’ve!!) done sooo much to slow down since. Lighter scheduling has helped immensely and I echo the ‘Simplicity Parenting’ book recommendation above. In an attempt to have less conflict situations with my kids (perhaps none? – good to at least aim for, IMHO), I was forced to realise that the times we clashed were the times when *I* was trying to rush them to do something/get somewhere. So in addition to not overscheduling, I’ve found that beginning preparations earlier, pointing out to them the real-life consequences of not being on time (when it comes to appointments and the like) then letting go of my own stress levels about being late (‘cos the world won’t end, right?) have all helped. I can’t remember the last time I ‘lost it’ or the kids had a meltdown just trying to get us all out the door. Both used to be regular occurrences. Our wee ones really do run on ‘child time’ – so resisting or pushing against that is a recipe for disaster, like trying to row upstream! It does make me wonder when we adults lost that (natural) pace of ‘one thing at a time’ – it’s all we can realistically do anyway so setting higher expectations is pretty much guaranteed to lead to disappointment. Still working on that one…. 😉
Absolutely!
Beautifully written. I’m so glad there are other parents that feel the same as I do. The last thing I want is to rush my little boy into growing up. However, I too hope that when he does he won’t lose his sense of wonder.
Thank you 🙂
Girl, this is spot ON! I am including this on one of my Mode stories but I also wanted to share with you my blog post I wrote a few weeks ago that I think you would like! http://ashleyglass.net/new-blog/why-i-stopped-telling-my-son-to-be-big-and-strong?rq=why%20i
You are SO right, why do we rush childhood? Why do they have to hurry and run, run, run? I so badly am trying to embrace the present, being here now, and enjoying every second of their still little years! Great work!!
Thank you! 🙂
Am so pleased you’ve discovered this while your girls are young,I’m a grandmother and no longer rush I have the pleasure of sharing as much time as needed with our grandchildren, wish I had known this for my children