You don’t have the right to hit your child

You Do Not Have the Right to Hit Your Child

You don’t have the right to hit your child

“I’ll do whatever I like with my kids”

This comment. Whenever I see debates about parenting, I see this comment. It’s disgusting.

“I’ll do whatever I like with my kids”? We’re not talking about a piece of furniture here!

Children are people. We care for them and love them and guide them, but we do not own them. And we do not have the right to ‘do whatever we like’ with them.

Yes, much of parenting is individual. But some is not. This one is NOT. This one I will not accept other viewpoints on. This one is most certainly black and white.

If you are hitting your child, you are doing the wrong thing. You need to stop.

Why? Because hitting a child is not a parental right. I do not care if it’s ‘legal’ where you are, that is not a valid excuse. Many countries are now waking up and changing their archaic laws on various social issues. Morally and ethically there is no justification. You absolutely do not have the right to hit anyone.  Not your spouse, coworker, friend, parent, acquaintance, or family member. Age does not change that. Mental capacity does not change that.

Whether your parents did it to you, whether you believe you turned out ‘ok’, it doesn’t matter. It comes down to this: you do not have the right to physically harm another human being in the name of ‘parenting’.

As if we needed another reason, the research is now abundantly clear. There is no dispute. Hitting children (or whatever other name you want to call it that helps you sleep at night) is associated with anti-social behaviour, aggression, mental health problems and cognitive difficulties. What’s more, it doesn’t even work. To be clear, the research specifically looked at ‘smacking’ as well as abuse. They both had the same outcomes. No good can come of hitting your child. Every time you hit them you are not only damaging your relationship but their future potential.

So why do people so vehemently defend their ‘right’ to cause harm?

“Another way of making sense of this issue was suggested by John Bowlby, the British psychiatrist who inspired the field known as attachment theory. He argued that if you haven’t experienced empathic parenting, it’s hard for you to become such a parent yourself. The same might be said of unconditional love: If you didn’t get it, you don’t have it to give. People who were accepted only conditionally as children may come to accept others (including their own kids) in the same way… Such parents learn to think of love as a scarce commodity that must be rationed. They assume that children need to be strictly controlled, just as they were.” -Alfie Kohn

Breaking the cycle is hard; there’s no argument there. But it’s worth it. Your children deserve it! There are many many brave people out there doing it. Many people who still make mistakes, but who have accepted that children deserve better and committed to trying their hardest every day to change things. There are many children who are not punished or coerced and who are respectful and kind because they have been shown respect and kindness. Love does not hurt. It’s time for change.

“Some parents rationalize the use of punishment by insisting that they really, truly love their kids. No doubt this is true. But it creates a deeply confusing situation for children. It’s hard for them to sort out why someone who clearly cares for them also makes them suffer from time to time. It creates the warped idea, which children may carry with them throughout their lives, that causing people pain is part of what it means to love them. Or else it may simply teach that love is necessarily conditional, that it lasts only as long as people do exactly what you want.” -Alfie Kohn

The first step to breaking the cycle is to acknowledge that you do not have the right to hit your child. You simply must commit to a different way of parenting. Children absolutely do not need punishment in order to learn. They need unconditional love and acceptance. There is so much information and advice out there about respectful parenting. Start learning today. Change the future of your family and relationships.

Change begins with you.

You don’t have the right to hit your child

Recommended reading:

Parenting Without Punishment

What is Respectful Parenting?

Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn

Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg

Still not convinced? Still defending your right to hit kids? Read this.


June 1, 2017 at 8:21 pm

No argument from me. (Apart from your admiration of Con of course.) Physically harming another is vile and goes against universal laws.

Can I be Anon?
June 2, 2017 at 1:49 am

Good article, as usual. I don’t understand why people can’t get this already. They don’t want to get it.

June 2, 2017 at 12:05 pm

It’s really sad the grandparents threatened to spank our kids. Reasons being: the Bible said so. You are lacking as a parent( because we dont spank).And my house my rule( when we visit). Our kids are only 4 and 1.

    June 2, 2017 at 12:05 pm

    WTF! I’d tell them my house rule was to hit adults and see how they liked it. What nonsense.

    leanne cadayday
    June 2, 2017 at 8:45 pm

    This book shows a different side to the bible justification if you are interested Jesus, the Gentle Parent: Gentle Christian Parenting (Little Hearts Handbooks) Kindle Edition
    by L.R. Knost (Author)

    June 2, 2017 at 11:43 pm

    My mum smacked my oldest the other day (not because of being religious, though). It is really hard to deal with 😥 He had flicked an elastic band at her (intentionally and had already been asked to stop), and it hit her in the eye. I told her that in our family smacking and hitting is not ok, but it is doubly hard because not only an older generation, but she’s also (understandably perhaps) indignant about his treatment of her, so I’m now having to manage not only my son’s feelings but also my mum’s. In fairness this is not something she usually does, but even once it’s not ok, and she does s lot of the other things that aren’t respectful, such as constantly telling my kids to be good boys and telling them they’ll only get treats if they are good or if they eat all their food.

      June 3, 2017 at 12:26 am

      Personally i think it’s best to leave the parenting to the parents..

        June 3, 2017 at 6:34 am

        Absolutely! That said, I also don’t think it’s for me to swoop in and take control of a situation between my kids and other family adults and there I try to let others in the family handle situation that are directly between them and the kids, because I also don’t want to be dictating to other family members what to do. But with hitting it’s different because I absolutely will step in (of course!) It’s just frustrating feeling often like I have to moderate things, especially between my mum and my kids – partly because of things she does that don’t line up with how I want to parent, and partly because she needs a lot of listening to her feelings too (which of course everyone does, but she often does it in a way where I feel like I’m having to narrate and listen as I would in a squabble between two kids, rather than a child and his grandmother!)

        June 8, 2017 at 2:07 pm

        But you wouldn’t stand by if you saw someone hit a dog or their wife, would you?
        If you would.. well you are wrong.

          June 10, 2017 at 6:43 am

          Oh goodness no! Did it sound like I stood by? Wasn’t clear then! I made it very clear that hitting kids (or anyone!) isn’t part of how we do things in our family.

    Lydia purple
    June 9, 2017 at 2:30 am


    I recommend this bible study about spanking (against!).bgreat to share with grandparents, too. It’s a free ebook from Dr. Samuel Martin a Hebrew bible scholar available to download here:

    October 21, 2017 at 3:02 am

    That’s a horrible attitude of your parents! And people like that are surprised when their kids don’t want anything to do with them. Maybe stop going to their house? that’ll teach them. My parents have that attitude so I now hardly see them.

June 3, 2017 at 4:05 pm

Sometimes I do find spanking (or other ways of inflicting discomfort) to be extremely beneficial as a parent–very rarely, but I do believe it has its place. One example is when a toddler is about to touch something dangerous–a hot stove, a dog’s bone, etc. A firm squeeze or slight pop of the hand gets the young child’s attention immediately and in a memorable way so that the child will instantly make a negative association with touching that thing. The idea being that the parent provides a small negative consequence so that the child avoids a much bigger natural consequence. I also spanked my children when they tested their boundaries as young children–and we are talking 2-3 pops with my hand over their diapered bottom. Obviously it hurt their feelings more than their bottoms. And that’s entirely the point. For me as a parent, I found spanking on very rare occasions to be very effective. My children often cried much more over other consequences than the rare pop to their bottoms. At ages 10, 8, and 4, they are past the age where spanking is really effective, but they are all very well-mannered, kind kids who have a really strong bond with both mom and dad.

Now the real culprit-the one that many parents are guilty of, including me, and that I believe to be much more damaging long-term is just yelling. I was spanked as a child, but what I remember as far worse was how much my parents yelled at me. And despite my best attempts to avoid it, at times I find myself yelling at my own kids. Not one time have I ever struck my children in anger or unintentionally. Not one time have I regretted a spanking my children got, because it has always been a very carefully and deliberately used consequence. But how many times have I raised my voice at my children unintentionally? How many times have I damaged their hearts? And I regret it every single time. No, spanking is not the horrible parenting mistake this article implies it to be. Losing control is. Losing the ability to be in control of your tone of voice or the words that come out or the volume they rise to. That is the true parenting mistake that is doing damage to our children. That causes aggression or lack of confidence or self-esteem. That causes children to question a parent’s love. I am confident if I were to ask my kids what is one thing I have done as a parent that they wish they could have changed, they would say they wish I did not yell at them. I don’t think spanking would even be on their radars.

I am very conscious of it, and I try SO hard never to raise my voice. But occasionally I do.

    June 3, 2017 at 4:09 pm

    Firstly, lets not use fluffy language to make ourselves better. It’s called hitting.

    Secondly, however you want to frame it, the research says it is undeniably detrimental.

    Thirdly, you have absolutely no right to hit people. Whether you mistakenly believe it is ‘effective’ or not.

      June 3, 2017 at 6:02 pm

      Wow! We will just have to agree to disagree on this one. I am certain if you met me in real life, you would find a kind, loving parent, who has a very close relationship with her children.

      I am just more surprised than anything at your scolding tone with me when you have been nothing but gentle and kind with every other commenter. But hey, clearly this is something you feel very passionate about. I get it.

      Sure, you can call it hitting. That doesn’t offend me a bit. I feel 100% comfortable with the decisions I have made as a parent to discipline my children. We are all different people, and we all have different approaches to parenting. I can assure you, my children have not been harmed or damaged in any way from the few times they were spanked, or hit, or however you want to label it. You do you, and I’ll do me. And our children will grow up in their own ways and be amazing people.

    June 3, 2017 at 5:01 pm

    I would have to disagree… there are still better, less detrimental ways to warn them of dangers. (& what if you have a spirited child who only does it more until you snack harder and do he does it more and you smack harder… where do you stop? Never ok to use force… not a little, not a lot.) While yelling is also disrespectful, as you say, it’s clear, even in your words, that smacking is just as bad for their heart:
    “Obviously it hurt their feelings more than their bottoms”

      June 3, 2017 at 6:37 pm

      Natalie–I appreciate your thoughts and can understand where you’re coming from. I am sure your experiences, research, and personal beliefs have led you to the position you take on this topic, and I think that is exactly what you should stick with when parenting your children. I have studied child development for well over 20 years. I am a teacher (both in public school and as a homeschooling mom) and a parent of three. Based on my own research and significant amount of experience with many children and my experience as a parent, I believe there are times where negative consequences are necessary. I have raised my children, and my experience tells me that when spanking is used correctly, it is not something you have to keep doing more and more or harder. It must be used correctly, intentionally, in a loving manner, and in control. As far as hurt feelings, well that is just part of discipline. In my opinion, kids need discipline. And at some point, the discipline will hurt their feelings. I am ok with that! My youngest gets her feelings hurt just walking around. If I tried to keep my kids from getting their feelings hurt, I would fail ALL day long! And that wouldn’t be preparing them for adulthood, when you have to learn how to deal with having your feelings hurt on a daily basis. That’s just life. Anyway, I stumbled onto this blog because someone shared it on facebook, and I was curious to read it. I love hearing others’ thoughts and opinions, and I love to respectfully discuss these issues. I probably don’t share the same beliefs as the majority of people who follow this blog, but I have enjoyed reading a few articles and comments here. Child development and parenting are my passion and my calling. And I believe there is no one right way to parent a child. I believe we are given the children that fit us best, and we just have to have faith that we know best how to parent them.

June 3, 2017 at 6:18 pm

Here are some articles with studies that would oppose your statement that spanking is always detrimental. You can feel strongly about it, but that doesn’t make your belief universally true. It’s still your belief.

    June 3, 2017 at 6:45 pm

    If someone told you that research showed that hitting your wife was good for them, would you think it was acceptable? No, because morally and ethically it is abhorrent.
    The point is hitting another person is not ok. That is universally true. Children are people.

      June 3, 2017 at 6:54 pm

      I respect your opinion and believe there’s a reason that you have been given a passion for this issue. Good for you for sticking to your convictions. I totally get that kind of passion.

    james warren
    June 17, 2017 at 5:13 am

    A husband who beats his wife is called “a monster.”
    A wife who hits her child is called “a good mother.”

    We now know what is the underlying cause of violence.

    Hurt people hurt people.

June 7, 2017 at 3:28 pm

I love this. It’s unbelievably frustrating to me to have this conversation with people. I usually just start saying things like, “I understand what you mean, the other day, my husband hit me. He was completely loving and intentional and controlled when he did it, but I really needed to learn my lesson that I can’t keep talking to him that way. I feel this has been beneficial for me and our relationship.” Obviously, this isn’t true, but when you say things people say regarding their children, but invert it to be about adults, or even flip it to be about younger people hitting the elderly, it really shows how unhealthy (yet ingrained) this mindset is.

    June 8, 2017 at 7:34 am

    You really can’t compare how you treat your children to any other relationship. I also don’t discipline my husband, bathe him, feed him, wipe his bottom, nor does he do these things to me. There is no logic in the idea that how you treat your spouse or other people extends to how you treat your children.

    I understand that in your mind, you truly believe that you are right on this issue, but so do others who believe that spanking is okay. I think the difference is that many who choose to spank can acknowledge that it is a personal choice, and that there is no universal right or wrong on this.

    Parenting is such a personal experience, and no two parents do it all exactly alike all the time. We don’t need to judge each other–in the end, our kids will all grow up and hopefully be productive citizens and kind people.

      June 8, 2017 at 7:36 am

      Just because they are dependent on you doesn’t mean they deserve physical abuse. Would you hit an adult with a disability that you were caring for? No.

        June 8, 2017 at 8:18 am

        Where we fundamentally disagree is that you believe it is child abuse to hit a child, and I do not. I believe it could be, but it is not always child abuse. Obviously, we will never agree on this issue. My point was simply that it’s not the same type of relationship. I would not hit an adult with a disability, nor would I hit anyone else’s child unless their mom had expressly given me permission. But I would squeeze their hand with a firm NO if I were trying to get their attention and stop a behavior quickly. And a pop on the bottom is really no different, in that it is a physical consequence for a behavior. I have never physically harmed my children by spanking them.

          June 8, 2017 at 8:21 am

          Justify it however you like but hitting another human is wrong. You know that, which is why you wouldn’t hit another adult. Children are actual humans too.

          June 8, 2017 at 11:30 am

          I wouldn’t hesitate to hit another adult if I felt the situation warranted it. If another person were to physically threaten someone I love or me, I wouldn’t hesitate to fight back. I have a feeling any other mom, including you, would do the same. If I felt hitting would improve a situation, I would do it without reservation. I wouldn’t hit another adult in my care because it isnt my right to do so. It is my right (legally and morally) to hit my child if I feel it should be done. Like I said before, just because it is your personal belief does not make it universally true. I respect your beliefs and certainly feel you have every right to own them. Just as much as you want to have the right to raise your children however you see fit, I also want that right. What you and I might see as detrimental to a child’s well-being probably looks very different. It is all subjective.

          June 8, 2017 at 12:42 pm

          Obviously very different. I don’t believe I own another person.

          james warren
          June 17, 2017 at 5:17 am

          Hitting others is morally wrong.

          Hitting children causes neurological deficits as well as psychological ones.

          The science is in.

        June 8, 2017 at 2:13 pm

        What if your husband hit you? Even if you still have a close relationship with him?
        Any form of hitting is abuse. 100%
        No matter what. No matter how well it worked.
        No matter how you feel about it in your heart of hearts.
        No matter how much you love someone

          June 8, 2017 at 3:39 pm

          I already responded to another similar comment above about comparing children to spouses. You can’t compare your relationship with your spouse or anyone else to your relationship with your child. You do all sorts of things for and with your child that you would never dream of doing to another human being.

          I do not agree that any form of hitting is abuse 100% of the time. In order for anything to be considered abuse, there has to be injury involved. Your belief is that hitting is abuse–that is not a fact; it is an opinion. I have a different opinion. What if you accidentally hit someone? Would that be abuse? That is a form of hitting. What if you hit someone jokingly, like if a husband tickles a wife, and she smacks his hand to get him to stop? Or if he playfully smacks her butt? Would that be abuse? What if a stranger reaches out to touch your baby in your shopping cart at the store, and you instinctively hit their hand away? Would that be abuse? What if your child hits you? What if your child hits someone else? Is your child an abuser? What if your child reaches out to touch the hot stove and you instinctively slap their hand away? Did you just abuse your child?? Would you seriously tell a mother that who was upset that she hit her child without thinking? Would you tell her that she abused her child? I don’t know what kind of person goes through life without ever striking another human being. I doubt anyone on this page has made it this far in life without hitting another person at some point. Nor do I think any of us has never been hit before. Hitting is part of the human existence. It’s just something that happens. It is a form of physical contact. It is in no way 100% abusive every time it happens.

          I was just in the store tonight when I heard the checker tell another shopper that she drank energy drinks and smoked all through her pregnancy and her kids are fine. I couldn’t disagree with her more! I hated hearing that. It made me so sad that she had not had better examples and education prior to getting pregnant. But when she checked me out, she was kind to me, and I was kind to her. It is not my business how she chooses to treat her body or her children (aside from outright neglect and abuse that I actually witness), and as much as I disagree with her choices and beliefs, she still deserves to be treated with kindness. My point is that you don’t have to like the idea of hitting children. You can downright hate it if you want. But you cannot take the hatred you have for it and project that onto another person. You cannot isolate that single behavior and define an entire person by it. You have no idea when you meet someone what their stance is on spanking, and it doesn’t really matter. Why can’t we just acknowledge that we may have different opinions, and that’s just life?

June 11, 2017 at 7:26 pm

It is called the Convention on the rights of the child and USA is the only country in the world that has not signed it. Like, every other country agreed a long time ago that hitting a child is a crime.

October 21, 2017 at 2:56 am

The idea of hitting children is a really sore point with me, and the idea that “it didn’t do me any harm” is utterly ridiculous. The people saying that have absolutely no ability to self reflect and be honest with themselves. I was regularly hit by both parents as a child for the smallest things. I was also hit hard too. My mum would hit me the most and she started slapping me in the face as I got older. Even though I was getting older and a teenager, there were no signs that she was going to stop hitting me, infact she was hitting me more. She only stopped hitting me because I started hitting her back across the face everytime she hit me, when I was about 14/15. Otherwise she could still be hitting me now for all I know! She also used to throw objects at me really hard when she was angry. She even kicks her dogs when she’s angry with them! Infact my earliest memory of my mum is hiding upstairs feeling extremely scared because she blew a fuse at me because she was upset. Also my dad hit me, less often than my mum but a lot harder. He once hit me so hard it left a huge red mark on my leg for ages. He was also prone to completely losing his temper at the smallest transgression, where he would angrily charge after me and I would hide and lock myself in the bathroom so he couldn’t get to me. He would then be hammering away at the door, ordering me to open it, so hard that he nearly broke the door in. If he did manage to get hold of me he would grab me and shake me really hard. It was so frightening. All this achieved was teaching me to be really scared of my parents. I’m 25 and live 200 miles away but I’m still scared of them. It’s awful being scared of your own parents and it’s the reason I don’t see them very much. If that’s the kind go relationship the child hitters want with their children when they grow up, by all means carry on. But don’t be upset when your adult children don’t want anything to do with you. And please stop all this didn’t do me any harm rubbish because it clearly did. I wonder how many of you are still scared of your parents?

    October 21, 2017 at 3:20 am

    This makes me so sad! Your parents were really abusive, whether they knew it or not. I am really sorry that you went through that. And I am sorry that your relationship with your parents was damaged from it.

    My husband and I both grew up in homes where our parents sometimes spanked us. They did not hit us the way you describe and it didn’t continue into our teens. Neither of us feels any fear toward our parents at all.

    I have spanked my children occasionally (and when I say spank, I mean a couple of pops on their bottoms with our hand, usually a diapered bottom). Once they were school aged, it was no longer the most effective means of discipline. I am certain my kids have no fear of either of us hitting them.

    There is a vast difference between using spanking as an occasional means of discipline and physically abusing your children. I am really sorry you experienced the latter. That wasn’t fair to you, and you deserved better. I hope one day, you can be honest with your parents about what they did and be able to find healing and closure from that part of your life.

October 30, 2017 at 6:16 pm

Nicole really wants to justify her actions by labelling her abuse as a “pop”. Perhaps because it is a shorter, cuter word, it is less abusive then the really big spankers.
Even if I “pop” someone on the behind, it is still abuse. Child, adult, dog… Hitting is abuse. Popping is abuse. And I think actually worse in your case because you justify it and “it is not as bad as..”. My mom only occasionally “popped” me, and I can assure you, it was damaging. I constantly fight that ingrained reaction now because of a “few small, definitely not damaging, pops”. Good luck with that. I encourage you to ask your kids once they are grown how they truly felt about it. I bet their answer surprises you.

    October 30, 2017 at 10:23 pm

    I am always amazed at how angry and hateful people get on this subject! My parents spanked me more than I have ever spanked my children, and I feel NO anger or resentment toward them for it. I am thankful for their love and discipline, and their desire to always protect me and provide appropriate consequences. It doesn’t make me any more likely to hit my own children, and I don’t constantly fight an ingrained reaction to hit my own children. I have never hit my children out of anger.

    I don’t care if you call it a pop, spank, hit, slap, or smack–they are synonyms of the same action. I simply called it a pop because that is the best word to describe what it was. I am confident in my parenting choices and know my children are well-loved, well-cared for, and very healthy. I am confident they would agree both now and in the future.

      Shelby Strogen
      November 25, 2017 at 8:36 am

      You must be a madwoman if feel no anger or resentment towards your parents for hitting you as a child. Only a psychopath would be thankful towards their parents for hitting them as a kid.

        November 25, 2017 at 10:11 am

        I can tell you my parents taught me to never speak (or write) to other people in a rude or disrespectful way, and to never call people names. I could never imagine uttering the words you just said to another human being. Of course, I am thankful for the way my parents raised me. They loved me unconditionally and still are the kindest people I have ever known. I can assure you your words are more hurtful and unkind than any spanking my parents ever gave me.

          January 9, 2018 at 8:57 am

          We’re angry because you’re defending child abuse! 😡 This isn’t a matter of opinion, it’s a matter of science. Hitting children is abusive, whatever cutesy name you want to give it so you can sleep at night.

          Your kids are hardly going to call you abusive when they still live with you. Thanks to you, they don’t know any better and think what you’re doing to them is normal.

          But when they’ve left home and the phone calls getting fewer and farther between, remember this and know that you brought it on yourself.

          January 9, 2018 at 9:59 am

          I am talking about my own parents, not my children. And I have a really loving, close relationship with my parents. I have zero anger toward them for spanking me and I am glad they did.

          As for my own children, we are extremely close, they are too old for spanking to be effective, and they will likely never have memories of having been spanked.

          I am raising my children to never, ever speak to others the way people speak to each other on this blog. They will be kind and respectful to others, never standing in judgement, but rather with love, willing to have discussions such as these, with open hearts and minds. They will know their words carry far more weight than their hands ever could, and they will know that it is more important to be kind than to be right. This is the last reply I will write on this topic.

March 25, 2018 at 1:40 pm

Nicole you are a child abusing psycho. You can call hitting a child whatever cutesy stupid little name that ubwant but guess what-its still hitting vwhy in the hell do you think you have the right to hit your child? Why because you gave birth to them? That doesn’t make them your property. Would you hit ANYONE else? Anyone? An elderly person? Your mom? If so why not? What if an elderly person in a nursing home was being uncooperative- would u “pop” them or is that wrong? If it’s wrong why’s it not wrong to supposedly “pop” a child?? Such double standards. Gosh parents can get away with so much crap whereas if someone else does the same thing to another person they are wrong. It’s BS. Ur child is not a piece of property to be smacked around. Tell me – how in the heck does hitting teach them? They’re only obeying you because you’re using physical force. It’s slot like bullying. It’s no different actually. You want someone to do something – you hit them. By the law my mom didn’t abuse me but I’m so angry from the way she treated me to this day. I know that hitting is not love n it was never love. I never felt loved from it. I mean I remember panicking and screaming and crying and the pain. All of that “I’m doing this because I love you” Bs didn’t work. It wasn’t love then and it’s not love now. I’m so angry because I know what this crap (society calls it normal loving “parenting”) did to me and here you are defending this crap that I know has hurt me and other people. It’s disgusting. Why can’t you c that children are people too? They can learn without being hit for crying out loud. For God’s sake stop hitting your child. They are people. You can at least talk to them like intelligent human beings instead of just smacking them. Just because you don’t see it as abuse doesn’t mean that it’s not abuse

May 8, 2018 at 12:02 pm

Thank you soo much! Your words are the only thing that is keeping from committing suicide! My life is horrible! The only people that can put a smile on my face are my friends! You made it so much easier!

July 15, 2018 at 12:19 am

My parents hit me all the time as a child for “discipline” and it caused me to have so many needless mental health issues growing up that I still have to deal with now as an adult. They justified it by saying it was for “religious reasons” (we were muslim) but when I went and actually read the Quran when I was older it explicitly stated that even thinking about hitting any child is vile.

I will always be disgusted by how far some people will go to avoid the truth in order to justify their behavior. Whether it be scientific study or religious text.

September 26, 2018 at 7:31 am

It’s my rules. If my kids are being bad I’m gonna spank them and explain what they did was wrong. Child abuse and spankings are both very different. You guys act like it’s the same. It’s not. Spanking your child is normal and ok.

May 23, 2019 at 8:30 pm

My mom says that she has the right to hit me, and she uses this fake right to hit me too. My entire childhood I’ve faced abuse from both my parents. I don’t like them, I don’t want them. But I don’t know how to rebel, cause if I do, I get hurt.

I know now what not to do when I raise kids, and I know also the meaning of love, since it cannot be found in my home.

Thanks to this blog I’ll have more confidence, and one day, maybe one day, rebel back.

November 6, 2020 at 10:30 am

my mom hits me on a regular

January 24, 2021 at 6:18 pm

What can i legally do when my mom hits me and slaps me?

September 7, 2022 at 4:15 pm

My parents beat us because their parents beat them. The usual punishment for any misbehavior was a naked whipping, and my parents used a real leather stock whip. They’d tell us to go to our rooms and take off all our clothes, then they’d come in with that horrible whip and let us have it from head to toe. And this started when we were very small, like 5yo or younger. The pain was agony and the embarrassment was horrible. And just when the welts would heal they’d find a reason to whip you again. None of us speak to our parents today, and we’ve all vowed never to spank any of our children. And we haven’t. The abuse ends with our generation.

December 29, 2022 at 4:50 pm

I hate people who hurt their kids too much as if they were fighting with adults. Children need love, care, understanding, and guidance. As a parent, I punish my child by not allowing playing outside for days or not using a tv or cell phone, but I do not use any objects. Instead, my husband talks to our child so we know why he makes mistakes and explains to him that whatever intention he has, good or bad, it cannot change the fact that he does something wrong, and however hard the situation is, he needs to choose what is the right thing to do.

August 11, 2023 at 5:04 pm

Reading this again is so worth it for a parent like me and I still have same opinion the last time I read this.

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