50 Ways to Calm down and Regroup When Parenting Feels Hard
The hardest part of parenting is probably controlling our own reactions, right? Our frustrations, our big feelings. How many of us were taught how to do that effectively as children? And now here we are in charge of teaching it to our own children. Yikes! A hard task sometimes.
So how do we keep our cool in the face of parenting challenges? Well, we do the hard work of healing our own wounds, recognising our triggers, and parenting consciously. A big task! It can be helpful to have some day to day quick tools you can turn to when things start to get heated.
Recently, we were discussing just that over on my facebook page, and the responses from my awesome community of respectful parents were so helpful I decided to put them into a permanent list you can save to refer to! I hope you find them as helpful as I did.
50 Ways for Parents to Find Calm
- Pop in some headphones to reduce sensory input.
- Listen to your favourite song.
- Take some time out. Explain the concept to the kids at a calm time beforehand. Grab a two minute break in your bedroom with the door shut to regroup.
- Deep breathing exercises.
- Stand on the grass barefoot and ground yourself.
- Wash your hands.
- Pick a calming essential oil like Lavender or Bergamot and diffuse it to improve your mood and patience.
- Say an affirmation.
- Remind yourself you’re all trying your best.
- Think of 5 quick things you admire about your child.
- “Remind myself that I am only one connected conversation away from making any needed changes.”
- “Entirely immerse myself in my [child’s] position rather than my own and breathe through any arising inner reactivity while doing so.”
- “Remind myself of the person I desire to be.”
- Go outside to nature.
- Have a dance party and shake out the bad vibes.
- Blow bubbles.
- Connection… A hug, a touch on the shoulder, a smile.
- Read a book together.
- Two words: Chocolate stash.
- “I made a conscious effort to name that emotion to my kids and verbalize the strategy I would use instead of yell. So it would sound like this: “I am getting so frustrated right now that I want to yell, but instead I’m going to focus on taking 3 deep breaths” and then I would model this to my kids.”
- Twirly ribbon wand dancing!
- “I sit on the edge of the bath and wash my feet in warm water, it’s soothing and therapeutic and it helps.”
- Take a nap together.
- Go for a walk.
- Make a tea or coffee.
- Read an inspiring article or favourite quote.
- “Focusing on my breathing and feeling my heartbeat.”
- “Be quiet, shut my mouth and remain quiet until I am able to calm and regroup.”
- “Thinking about my priorities (family before household chores).”
- Visit a Site of Mutual Fulfillment.
- 5 minute meditation.
- Get a massage from your partner.
- Practice mindfulness. Slow down and notice the things around you. What do you see? Hear? Smell? Feel?
- Go to the beach, no matter the weather.
- Write a list of 3 things you’re grateful for in this moment.
- “I sing “12345 once I caught a fish alive ….” nice & slowly in my head while I breath in & out.”
- “Get in the now and ask kids what they want to do. We usually end up coloring together then I can sneak away and finish whatever was so pressing. If I just give in a little it all calms itself. It is I who has to change my expectations of my life.”
- Listen to an audiobook or podcast.
- “I’ve started asking myself, “What’s the story you’re making up about this situation?” It’s been helping me stay rational.”
- Do some gardening.
- Yoga or pilates.
- Hug a pet.
- Watch funny youtube videos and laugh together.
- Cry if you need to. Let your emotions out.
- Consciously relax your body.
- Scream out your frustration into a pillow.
- Do some journaling.
- Take a hot shower.
51: read this blog post 🙂 it helped me!